Monday, December 6, 2010



Tuesday, May 25, 2010

paper for school. revealing my depression.

Everyone thinks that preaching the Gospel means having to actually be preachy and annoying but it doesn’t. You can preach the Gospel without using words, it’s easy. Just be nice, smile at someone in the hall, make someone laugh or lend a helping hand. One major way you can preach the Gospel and not use words is right in the encyclical, Humanae Vitae. Don’t use birth control, don’t have sex before marriage, don’t sell yourself, keep your body sacred, it’s a gift that God gives you, take care of it. Humanae Vitae says “In a word, the exercise of responsible parenthood requires that husband and wife, keeping a right order of priorities, recognize their own duties toward God, themselves, their families and human society.”
Jamie Tworkowski, founder of the non-profit organization To Write Love on Her Arms, said, “People need other people.” , it’s the truth. We do need other people but, when we put each other down by saying mean things, just “joking around”, or spreading rumors, we hurt others, ourselves and God. We’re not following the Gospels words. In paragraph 1804 of the CCC it says “
Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good. The moral virtues are acquired by human effort. They are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love.”
I myself have been struggling with depression for the past year and a half. I have felt firsthand the pain that comes from what people say or more so what is not said or done. Yes, words hurt, but sometimes it’s not what you say that hurts, it’s the things you leave unsaid, the actions, looks, and noises you make. I’m not saying this to get sympathy from any of you because trust me, it’s the last thing I want. I just want you to realize that the things you do have great effect on others. “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” that’s what it says in Matthew 26: 41. Our hearts may know it’s wrong but our peers may pressure us to believe otherwise. “People need other people.” I need you, you need me. I challenge you to take a minute and smile at someone or help someone you normally wouldn’t.
Humanae Vitae
Jamie Tworkowski - TWLOHA

Saturday, November 14, 2009


When at first the seeds of hope
are planted deep and firm
most of us are quick to judge
we expect too much and don't learn

God asks us all to love one another
because love is patient and kind
so I guess when God gives us hope and love
we have to be patient with our state of mind

Eleven months have already past
and I am just learning now
to actually be patient and know
we'll all be okay somehow

So when at first the seeds of hope
are planted deep and firm
be patient as you learn to grow
and grow while you patiently learn

blahhhhh it sucks. :( i don't even believe any of it anymore. theres no reason for all of this suffering. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on....

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


"Darling grab a hand
We won't let you go
Darling grab a hand
We promise not to let you stand alone"

iwsbtsy. iwictaypa. timmty. ipiwlysa. tmhawcwtw.

Monday, August 24, 2009

"Some people have one of those days ... I have one of those lives."

Have you ever felt like everyone in the room hated you, or was thinking you were a freak? That's how i felt today at orientation. BLAH It. was just overall a bad morning. I hate having to go to a school with people I can't even stand. Plus, the first day of school I only have 4 open mods, and I barely have any classes with my friends. UGH, I just feel like screaming! i HATE this feeling! I just feel like I'm a burden, like I just tag along... I thought it was gonna be a good day because I was gonna see 3 people I haven't seen in awhile, and that part was fine, but the rest of it sucked ass. I'm sorry for everyone reading this because you should have to have all my problems on your mind too, I just needed to let all of it out.
a;ljlkfsdajkfd;ja; :/

ijctfaaiwtfwaiwtfiabbfwsiwtfliwtbhaaiwmftbhiwtntbwbmahaictfofbipwjnsaasalidefml. :/

p.s. this isnt about C.C. or K.S. FYI. :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

"Our past is not our potential."

Over the past few months my relationship with God has grown tremendously. I am ashamed to say that during 9th grade and while I first started struggling with SI I considered myself an atheist. I wanted nothing to do with God or any religion for that matter. But in April, I went to see Craig Scott, a speaker for Rachel's Challenge, present at RCTC. I don't know how but the things he said that day changed my life drastically. The thing that hit me the most and when I started to break down, was when he asked everyone to close their eyes. Then he said "Raise your hand if you need to forgive someone for things they have done to you." I rose my hand. Then Craig said " Raise you hand if you need to ask forgiveness for things you have done to someone else." I again rose my hand. Then this next statement is what got to me the most. "Raise your hand if you need to forgive YOURSELF for things others have done to you or things you have done to others." My hand slowly went up. That day Craig also talked about how God has a plan for all of us, and that God loves you and does things for a reason. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here but I know that the things Craig Scott said that day changed my belief in God.

I know that my closest friends have been going through a really tough time lately. They are the strongest people I have ever known and they deserve happiness more than anyone can imagine. I wish I knew a way to help them. They have helped me so much even when they were hurting more than I was, and I wish I could do that for them. I promise that someday, in someway, I will repay them.

My friends don't know this but I pray for them every night. I'm worried about them and I ask God to guide them and bring them happiness, and I thank God for blessing me with such amazingly caring and loving friends.

i love you guys so much.

XOXO with hope,

"It is by chance we met, by choice we became friends."

"There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are the people who put it back in."

"See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around."